A Return to Blogging?

I'm sitting here at my computer with a million other things to do, contemplating whether or not I really want to commit to adding yet another task to the never-ending list. But let's be honest, I've never been very consistent at this blogging things anyway. And the two or three people that actually read this (hi, mom!) aren't going to care if I post consistently or not, so why not give it another try! Besides that, my oldest daughter as recently gotten into blogging as well, and while we haven't gotten her into a good rhythm yet, I'm excited to see where her blogging journey will take her, and it's spurred me on the join in the fun.

Life is looking a little different than the last time I wrote a post. According to my dashboard, the last post I published was in 2021 (though I see I have five drafts sitting in the que that were written after that, so apparently I've tried to get this thing up-and-going since then as well). At the time of my last post, which also happened to be published in March, our fourth kiddo was just over two years old. Now we have a fifth kiddo (number four is still the only boy, but he's holding his own with all those sisters) and I'm working part time as a religious education director while still homeschooling, helping host a book club, and all the other activities that go into family life. When I find little bits of time (which is rare) I can usually be found with yarn and a crochet hook in my hand or perusing old cookbooks for the next best recipe to make (that my kids will probably complain about and I'll never make again). 

When I started this blog it was all about family life and being a stay-at-home mom. I guess that's what it's still about. I'd like to continue sharing our day-to-day adventures, but I think I'd like to expand on it. I'd like to share some about what we're learning in our schoolwork, and how we're going about learning. I'd like to share more about what we're doing in the kitchen. I love that the older kids are starting to want to cook things themselves. Other than that I suppose I'll probably explore some of our hobbies, our outdoor adventures, what we're reading, and anything else family, motherhood, or life related that strikes my fancy at the time. To be honest, I currently feel like I'm craving a laid-back hobbit lifestyle, while the reality is that there are a lot of things pulling at my attention and a lot of things demanding I do them whether I want to or not.

I guess this rambling post is just to say, "I'm back! Come along for the ride if you'd like!" You're always welcome to comment! (I love a good conversation. If you've known me for any length of time you know I like to talk...a lot.)

Thanks for being here! 💕

Playing in the Dirt

Who else is itching to get out in the garden? We went from days that were freezing to days that were warm enough for shorts and a tshirt within a week, and while I know there's a very real chance that it'll get cold again, I can't help but be excited for spring!

As it turns out, my gardens are definitely getting turned up and ready for planting, but it's not me doing the digging! My sweet little baby has decided that as a 1 year old he's now too big to sit at Mama's feet while his sisters run wild in the yard, and he's decided that the last garden box in the row is his for the playing! As soon as we get to the yard he makes a bee-line for it. Sometimes he pauses near my chair just long enough to sit down and take of his shoes and socks before continuing on his way. It makes me so happy!

He couldn't care less that he'll get dirty, and he certainly doesn't complain about the bath later. (I swear that boy is part fish!) He loves to squish it, loves to dig it, loves to run his hands through it, and of course, loves to hold it over his head...and drop it. He comes in looking like one big ball of dirt, but with the biggest smile. I kid you not, nothing else keeps that boys attention for long, he's always on the go, but he will sit in that garden box for an entire hour with a little shovel and just dig and play!

Despite being the only boy, he's not the first of my kids to love the dirt. The first summer we had a garden I'd often find Lissy and Gwyn sitting at the edge playing in the mud. I remember going out one of the first days after we'd tilled the spot for the garden and Lissy laid herself down in the middle of it and tried to make snow angels in the dirt. 

As much as I'm grateful for technology (and we use it often), I'm also so grateful for these outdoor experiences. The love of nature that these kids have and the imagination that runs wild at the sight of a rock or a stick still amazes me nearly seven years after starting this journey of motherhood. These are the memories I want them to have. These are the moments I hope stick with them and shape them forever. The lesson: simplicity. You don't need a million toys or gadgets to have fun or be entertained. There's magic in nature and the ability to nurture your imagination. Sunshine helps things grow: flowers, food, children, and your appreciation for the little things in life.

Looking to Heaven

Yesterday we had planned on having our first ultrasound. We excited to get to see our newest sweet addition wiggle on the screen. We were excited to hear baby's heartbeat and bring back pictures to show anxious big sisters and baby-obsessed big brother. We were full of joy.

One week earlier we got to see our little one, but in circumstances that left us feeling much different. At 10 weeks along baby only measured 7 weeks. The ultrasound tech was silent the whole time as he measured baby and attempted to over and over to get any sign of a heartbeat. There wasn't one. Our sweet little James was born the next day. 

Yesterday, instead of going to our ultrasound, we drove to the church I grew up in, the church we met and married in. We sat surrounded by our family while the priest reminded us that life begins at conception and that our little one was still a life, if only briefly. That James still had a soul and was now in Heaven. The girls keep saying, "Mama Mary is snuggling our baby now." Yes, my sweet girls, his Mama Mary is holding him until we can in Heaven.

We drove to the cemetery and left him there. My mama had gotten a little solar light to place over him. His sisters left it there are a nightlight for their baby brother.

Grief is hard. Everyone handles it differently, and as the adult trying to help littles navigate their own grief while also dealing with my feelings it's been even more difficult. I'm glad they've found some light. As sad and angry as they were when we first told them, they've found some happiness in knowing that he's in Heaven. They seem to find solace in the image of Mama Mary holding their baby brother. That child-like view is exactly what I want to cling to. This wasn't my plan. I wanted to he the one to hold my baby, to cuddle him and give him kisses. But that wasn't God's plan. So now we move forward, knowing, as St. Zelie Martin said, that "we shall find our little ones again up above."

Back in the Blogging-verse

Well, I've contemplating bringing back my blog several times over the last 3+ years since my last post. Usually I sit here thinking about what to say and end up deciding to post on social media instead because I feel like I don't have enough to say to make a whole post. I love the connections I've made on social media and the fun accounts I stumble across. (Searching for crochet pattern creators and small businesses is my favorite!) BUT, it's all becoming a little too much. Too much negativity. Too much infringement on privacy (which seems silly to say when the point is sharing, but I think you all k ow where I'm getting with that). And too much time spent mindlessly scrolling when I could be doing a million other things.

I still feel like I want a creative outlet and a way to share life with other people, so I find myself back here at my blog, ready to continue sharing our adventures. I'm not completely sure what that will look like yet. Maybe a weekly update, maybe some themed posts, maybe a little of everything. Only time will tell. But in the meantime, click the "follow" button if you want updates and let me know what you want to see/hear/know.

I can't wait to catch up with everyone here and see where this part of our adventure leads us!

Emily

Trust in the Lord

"For thus said the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel: By waiting and by calm you shall be saved, in quiet and in trust your strength lies. But this you did not wish." Isaiah 30:15

I came across a Bible study tonight that began with Isaiah 30:15-26, and while I read the all 12 verses multiple times, this particular verse was what stuck out to me the most.

Waiting. Calm. Quiet. Trust. These are all "buzz words" when it comes to God. He has a plan, and we're told over and over again that if we pray and wait He will reveal it to us in His time. Yet waiting and trusting are two of the hardest things for us to do. Our minds get so anxious and loud that we talk over God. Sometimes I think we even make up "signs" that aren't really there just so we can convince ourselves that we're getting an answer. Having complete trust and quieting our minds to wait for God's direction is a huge hurdle. And, as the verse chapter continues past verse 15, it goes on to show that so often not heeding this warning can lead to harm or heartache. This is not to say that God won't redirect us after we make such choices. He gave us freewill so that we could choose, and He won't abandon us if we get off track; but, surely His original path is for our best interest. Does this mean he would keep us from every experiencing bad things? I don't think so, because from those experiences we learn and grow. Just as we cannot know how best to succeed without first failing, we cannot learn without first experiencing the lesson that leads us toward growth. The hope being, of course, that we use what we learn and the growth we achieve to better serve God and His people.

We are currently in the process of buying our first home. And as we move forward with this process I feel like I need to keep repeating this verse to myself over and over again. I know that I'm guilty of searching for signs that probably aren't there. I'm certainly anxious to keep the process moving as quickly as possible, but I also know that I need to be still and just listen. My husband reminded me of this earlier today when he relayed the story of how just yesterday I said we could "table the discussion until tomorrow" about something with the house hunting process, and then 30 minutes later I was sending him an email as I tried to hash it out yet again. My goal, moving forward, is to keep my mind and heart open to God and His plan. I'm going to try to remind myself that I can't run ahead of Him and myself by trying to create my own plans before it's time. He brought us safely to this step of the process, and now we need to keep moving just one step at a time.

Creating Our Intentional Bookshelf: Part 2

We've done some more work in the processes of creating our own intentional bookshelf. We're following the guide set in the book The Intentional Bookshelf by Samantha Munoz. If you haven't read part 1 yet (which walked us through developing our purpose and categories) you can find that here.

After I wrote part 1 and began the sorting process I realized that there were two important categories I had left out, and as I sorted books I found that there were a few more that (while not as prominent) were a part of the collection that we already had and wanted to keep. The two most important categories that I forgot were wordless picture books and sign language books. I'll explain more later.

The sorting process began a bit rough. As you can imagine, sorting through stacks of books with two toddlers wondering around can be a bit of a challenge. They were constantly pulling out books and running off with them or putting them back into other stacks. Sorting all of our books at once was just a little too much to take on during one nap time or at bedtime (because let's face it, by the time this prego mama gets both girls to sleep there's only another hour or so, if that, before I can't keep my eyes open either). So to make the sorting our books into categories a little easier I did one book type at a time. I started with the board books, and then moved onto pictures books, followed by interactive books. (Note: some of our board books are also "interactive", meaning they have flaps or finger trails or things of that nature, but for the purposes of my sorting I put those books in with the board books and kept "interactive books" as things like sticker books, color books, activity books with experiments, crafts, etc.)

Board Books
Here's what my board book sorting looked like. A bit of a mess. Many of the books could fit into multiple categories, but so if I had an abundance of one and not the other I tried to balance them out a little bit. As you can see above, the sorting was a little messy, but overall I think I got a good idea of what we have and was able to make some notes of categories that we would like to add more of.


Pictures Books

This was by far my biggest category. The picture to the right is how I store our pictures books currently when not in use, which, in all honesty isn't very convenient, but it's the best place I've got for them for now. Ultimately these books became a bit overwhelming to sort through. Not only are there just a lot of books there, but so many of them fit into multiple categories that I had trouble creating my stacks. The other issue with sorting these was that they were going to have to go back into the toy chest for storage, and while I could keep them in some order, they weren't really going to stay organized. What I ended up doing was creating a Google Drive spread sheet, and while it was time consuming I'm so glad that I chose to include this in our organizing for multiple reasons. For each book on the spreadsheet I included the title, author, book type (because I eventually added the board books to it as well), and what categories it fit in. By putting it into the spreadsheet I was able to assign multiple categories to the same book, and later when I'm looking for a particular category all I have to do is type the category name into my search bar and they'll all highlight to make them easy to find! The other thing that is super convenient about having all of our books organized on Google Drive is that I have access to it on my phone. I can't tell you how many times I've looked at a book at the store or the library and then couldn't remember if we already owned it or not. This was I know what we have even when we're out and about!

Interactive Books
This was our smallest category to sort, which was a nice way to end our sorting adventure. Ultimately these books were mostly stored away with our crafting things because they don't usually get left out all the time.

Sorting through all of these books was certainly a learning experience. While I love our home library, there were several books that I came across that I wondered if we really needed to be part of our permanent collection because they aren't really books we ever read (even when they're out on our bookshelf) or we have other books with the same story/message that we enjoy more. I definitely think I'm going to go back through them at some point and pull out some of those books...but if you know me you know how bad I am at getting rid of things, so we'll see how long it takes me. Ha!

I'd love to hear more about your collection! Do you have a large collection or just a small shelf of favorites? Do you keep every book you get or do you go through them every so often and take out books that aren't being used?

Yet Another Attempt at Organizing

I can't tell you how many times I've tried to organize, sort, declutter, and create a cleaning schedule. I generally start with a new plan every January, try two or three other ways throughout the year, before finally admitting defeat around Thanksgiving and deciding to focus on just the main rooms (to make room for the Christmas tree and decorations), vowing that I'll start again the next year. This year has been no exception.

While I didn't start out the year making any "New Year's Resolutions," I did still have some goals in mind. At the top of those goals was decluttering and organizing before Janie's arrival in May. I'm a list person, and I love planners, though I'm not always good at using them. My problem with planners stems from trying to keep too many of them going at once. With my lofty ideas I always have several going at once: one for the bills, one for blogging, one for Usborne, and one with birthdays, anniversaries, playdates, and other plans. While in my mind it seemed more organized (looking to work on something specific, you only need look at that one planner) it ultimately meant that I was using none of them because I forgot to look at them to see what was actually happening.

In the end of November, when the planners and calendars first started appearing in stores, I decided I needed to buy one. Normally I wait until closer to January, but since we had prenatal appointments and other appointments to add to our 2017 calendar already I wanted to get started. I absolutely love the looks of the personalized planners you can buy online, but with my track record of pushing them aside by about April I decided to go cheap but effective. I bought two planners. The first was a bill calendar. While I want things to be condensed, this one makes more sense to have separate because I sit down to pay bills every payday and don't otherwise need to have that info out. Not only that, but having a separate bill planner allows me to leave it with the bill book and lets Hubby know where to find it as well (without having to sift through everything else in my other planner) if he needs to know when something is due or how much it is. I don't need much room in this calendar, so I bought a $1 planner that just has monthly spreads with a little room on the sides for extra notes. Super easy. (I also add birthdays to this planner so that as I'm figuring out bills & budgeting money I can plan for any birthday gifts or other expenses.)

 The second planner I bought was a daily planner, which includes a monthly spread as well as weekly spreads with more space. The monthly spread includes brief notes about events (names for birthdays and anniversaries, or one word notes to say "doctor", "playdate", etc.). This allows me a quick overview if I'm trying to plan an appointment. If something is listed on that day then the details are listed in the weekly spread that tell place, time, etc. I wanted to give my planner a fun look and help separate events happening on the same day, so I used stencils to help keep notes and ideas contained. Other things noted on the weekly spread include blog topics and weekly business goals for my Usborne business.

Once I had some organization to my planning, I wanted to figure out how cleaning and organizing was going to fit into these first few months of the year before Janie's arrival. I love the extra spaces this particular planner (which I found at Dollar General for $3) provides for different things. I used the notes section on the monthly spread to write down monthly cleaning and organization goals as well as a to-do list for the month that wasn't necessarily specific to a particular day or week. I think took those monthly goals and broke them down into something a little more manageable for a week and wrote those into the space at the top of each weekly spread. Other fun features include a notes section at the back of each month which I'm using to keep track of the books I've read that month; a large notes section at the end which I'm using for lists (though so far the only list is "When did I last..." to help me keep track of things like washing betting, changing toothbrushes, and cleaning out the fridge); and a two-page spread of the entire year of 2017 which I'm using to keep track of our toy and book rotation.

Some of the organization things (like the weekly breakdown of the monthly goals and "When did I last..." list are things that I've added within the last week after looking back at January and realizing that I didn't get such a great start to my goals last month. Hopefully as the year progresses having one combined planner and a particular way of keeping track of these goals will help me to better accomplish them.

I'd love to hear about your planner organization or even your general cleaning and organization strategies. There's always room for improvement and new ideas, and I'm far from having it all figured out. I can't wait to see what you've got!

Creating Our Intentional Bookshelf: Part 1

So far 2017 has been about cleaning and decluttering and trying to figure out how we're going to fit one more little body and all of her things (how does one tiny person need so much?!) into our house. So I've started in the middle room, which tends to be a catch-all (closet, pantry, craft storage, general storage) and...well, that's all the farther I've gotten, and if we're being honest I'm not quite done in there either. But I've started, which is the first step, right?

Anyway, part of that process has meant thinking more critically about what items we should keep and what we can do without and looking more closely at what we buy and what we don't really need. As a mama to two toddlers one area I really wanted to look more closely at what our books and toys. It just happened that in January, Melissa at Rolling Prairie Readers was hosting a book club on her facebook page for the book The Intentional Bookshelf by Samantha Munoz. What a great way to get started!

I'll admit that when I first ordered the book I had visions of finishing the book with an organized and complete list of all of the books I would wanted included in our home library, which is silly, because clearly it was going to take a little more work than that, right?

In the book Munoz covers a variety of topics, including why a home library is important, how to go about collecting books for your home library, and how to decide what to include in your collection. I loved that it was broken down to be reader friendly for anyone, even if they weren't already familiar with the different types of children's books available. While I spend a lot of time with books (reading to the girls, selling Usborne Books & More, and previously working at our local library) I liked that the book offered explanations of what each type of book has to offer. Many of the things she addressed were questions that I often have answered as an Usborne consultant and sometimes it takes some thought to really be able to explain the purpose behind different types of books.

For this post I wanted to walk through the first step of creating our families intentional bookshelf, which was using the Master Plan Worksheet (found here). It sets the foundation of your bookshelf by asking you to think about the purpose of your bookshelf as well as your families values, interests, etc.

Purpose

• Our family bookshelf has multiple purposes. I want it to entertain, but I also want it to educate and engage.

Values, Interests, Etc.

• This is where our list becomes a bit extensive. To start with we want to make sure we include key values that we hold as a family:
• honesty
• love
• kindness
• family
• friendship
• empathy
• learning
• religion
• Obviously the list could go on, but for the sake of getting started these were the values I chose to focus on. When it comes to interests I had to think about what each of the girls likes. Right now they are pretty similar, but I'm sure as they get older they'll gain more of their own interests. For the sake of sorting, I used general categories like "princesses" rather than listing out "Sofia, Belle, Arial, etc." Some of their current interests are:
• princesses
• sea creatures
• farm animals
• zoo animals
• dinosaurs
• I also wanted to make sure I covered a wide variety of learning subjects. Some of these books can fit into the categories above as well. Our top learning categories at this time are:
• colors
• numbers
• emotions

While this list was by no means completely comprehensive it gave us a great starting point for sorting the books we already have. Sorting using these categories and keeping our purposes in mind also allowed me to see what types of books we wanted to add more of to our library. My goal in part two is to show you what our sorting process looked like and how we applied the concept on an intentional bookshelf to our book rotation process.

I'd love for you to share your own purposes and categories you focus on in your bookshelves! Is there a specific topic that you see more of in your bookshelves? Does your child's bookshelf reflect your family values and interests?

The Reality of Being a Stay-at-Home Mama

I am a horrible "homemaker." There. I said it. Not that we've gotten that out of the way maybe it'll be easier to come to terms with. Here's the thing: I've wanted to be a stay-at-home wife and mother since before I had my babies. Of course, there were several other career paths I tried to follow. I was a teacher for two years, and while I never got very far, I still have those pipe dreams of becoming a writer. But when it's all said and done, what better job is there on Earth that to raise my babies and take care of my family.

When I imagined what life would be like as a stay-at-home mom I thought I had it all planned out. (Don't we all?!) I devoted not one but two Pinterest boards to the topic of being organized. (One for ideas, the other for printables.) I was going to keep a clean house, have the laundry and dishes done, grow as much food as possible in whatever sized garden I could manage, always have fun, educational activities to do with my babies, do all kinds of crafts and sewing during naptime, and continue to walk or go to the gym on a regular basis. Doesn't that all sound amazing?

Now let me tell you what really happens...
The laundry and dishes sometimes are completely washed and put away once a week, but never both in the same week and sometimes neither happens. My house is rarely clean, aside from the playroom, which I try to pick up and vacuum every other day because I don't like to wonder how long the Cheerio the baby found and is eating has been on the floor. (At least this way I know it's no more than a day old.) We do have a garden, though it's not very big nor does it have much in it, and my gardening approach is something like: water every one to two days if it doesn't rain and only weed what seems to be killing my vegetables. While I don't always "plan" educational/fun things for the girls to do, they do have access to all of their toys, which includes puzzles, blocks, and other learning manipulatives. That being said, Lissy is addict to watching Sofia the First and we watch more t.v. than we probably should. To be fair, she does play while it's on, so at least she's not just sitting and watching? But honestly, sometimes it's the only way to keep her occupied long enough for me to wash a sink of dishes (what I wouldn't give for a dishwasher) or take a shower (when I'm lucky). As for the crafts and sewing, I've probably started a million projects, but rarely do they get finished. Usually I've just set one out and started the prep work when one or the other baby starts to stir. Some things take longer than others to finish. (I still need to put the binding on the quilt I started for Grandma last June. It was officially a year ago this past week that I started it.) So far the only projects I've been able to finish in a day are Rosaries. (Maybe Mary has a hand in that? Perhaps the prayers of "please keep the babies sleeping" as I work on them are really being heard!) The last things on my list of things was walking and going to the gym. While I don't think I've even set foot in a gym since having babies, the girls and I do go for a walk almost every day when the weather is nice. (This past winter was a different story, but maybe when they're older we'll be able to get out more then too.)

I guess here's what I'm getting at: life isn't always roses. There are days (and weeks) when things just don't get done. And while I tend to beat myself up over them, I'm starting to realized that it's not worth it. Because happy, healthy babies who love their mama and are learning and growing before me are the most important things. And while I'll continue to push myself to get things done in a timely manner, I'm sure the dishes will still get done on more of an "as needed basis" and I'll still run out of clean socks and underwear and have to do an "emergency load of laundry." But that's okay. Yes, I could sit my babies down more often. I could let them cry while I got chores done and I could make them nurse on a schedule as opposed to on-demand so I don't feel like I'm constantly sitting down to feed them. But why would I do that when the snuggles make us both feel better and the smile on their faces as we build tower after tower just to knock them down is way more precious than a spotless house. Someday I'll have a clean house and I'll have all of those things done that I imagined, but when that time comes it won't be because my babies have finally realized that Mama has a to-do list a mile long. It'll be because I no longer have "babies." It'll be because they're grown and those snuggles and little moments aren't a part of our daily lives anymore. And while walk around dusting or putting away the last of the clothes I won't be thinking, "So this is what I've been missing." I'll be thinking, "I miss the days I spent with my babies."

Learning to Communicate

Communication is one of the keys to life, and it's a skill we develop as infants. Newborns communicate through cries. These eventually are replaced by words which become sentences, paragraphs, and so-on. As a parent I get to watch the girls communication skills grow from day one, and it truly is amazing!

Lissy will be 18 months old in March, and I'm loving watching her communication skills grow! Her first words were the standard: mama, dada, dog, cat, duck. At around 9 months she started signing "milk" when she wanted to nurse. (We started signing it to her and saying it every time she nursed around 6 months.) By the time shew as a year old she knew at least five signs well enough to communicate them clearly, said several words (though many were still a little fuzzy we could understand them), and knew a while host of animal sounds. Shortly after that we added "please" and "thank you" to her signing vocabulary, followed closely by verbalizing them.

Somewhere between 16 and 17 months she started to noticeably verbalize more words. She now uses gestures as well, and in the last couple of weeks she's begun taking me by the hand and showing me what she wants along with saying it. Don't get me wrong, she still babbles incoherently a lot, but I love that we're starting to understand her! Every time she uses a new sign or distinctly says a new word I am over-the-moon excited. Maybe it's because she's my first and it's all a new experience to me too. Maybe it's because I've taken classes on language development and understand some of the amazing ways her brain is working and growing. Or maybe it's pride in knowing that I helped teach her those words. Whatever the case may be, she's definitely talking, and if she's anything like her mama, you'll never get her to stop! ;)

Our journey with communication and learning is just beginning! Gwyn (who turned 6 months old last weekend) said her first word last night! "Dada" is officially the favorite! ;) She's also been moving her hand when I sign "milk," so I think we're getting pretty close on that one too! I'd love to hear some of your favorite memories about your kids (or yourself, or someone else you know) learning to communicate!

Fresh Start

Here we are at the beginning of a new year. 2016, here we go!

I suppose the usual protocol would be to start with new year's resolutions...but you can look back at the last few posts on this blog and see just how well that's gone in the past. Every year I make a list, and every year it's fallen to the wayside by the end of February. (Does anyone ever make it past February?!) So this year is going to be different. This year I'm starting with a little bit of a different perspective, and while I wish what's happening wasn't, I'm going to take it and use it to shape the rest of the year.

Around the 4th of July in 2014 Papa (my maternal grandfather) was diagnosed with non-Hodgkin lymphoma. We had a world of confidence that he would overcome it as he underwent treatment at the University of Iowa. During a checkup in May of 2015 they discovered that it had come back and made an action plan, but the doctors said that in all honestly we would be lucky to keep him with us through August and until then we should make the most of it.

Granny & Papa at Thanksmas with 13 of their 21 grandchildren.

The week of Christmas he finished his final dose of yet another round of chemo. Couple this (I believe this was his third round total) with the radiation he'd already endured and you can see the long hard battle he's been fighting this past year. This round was supposed to take care of it. It was supposed to be gone. He had felt good and we all thought he was on the mend. More than once on this journey Papa had said that if it came back he wasn't going to treat it again, only to change his mind when he heard the dreaded news.

Dancing with Papa at our wedding.

This past week was his two week check up from the chemo he received before Christmas. With a swelling mass under his chin the news that came was expected...it is back, and more aggressive than before. This week he goes back to the hospital for a six day stay. During his time there he'll be hooked up to an i.v. to receive one last round of chemotherapy. It's the last possible thing they can give him. Outlook isn't great. They say it's not strong enough to really get rid of something this aggressive, but it should at least give some hope of feeling a little better.

When I heard all of this I cried. I mean I cried all night. I would stop crying and one look from my husband or a simple "Are you okay?" would send me into another bout of tears. I was thankful for the extra time that we'd been given, but still sad. When my mom told me the news I tried to stay positive for her. "We've had him with us for a lot longer than they said we would. We'll spend as much time with him as we can from now on." I tried to stay positive, to remember that God has a plan and that Papa has lived a full life.

I regret not asking him more, not listening better, not recording more of his stories. By the time I though to do so Papa had suffered a stroke and had trouble remembering many of the stories he had once told us. Some of those memories seemed to come back, but then he was headlong into treatment for his lymphoma and I hated to keep him awake when he needed his rest.

Besides all of those unanswered questions and lost stories, what I really want to ask him...the thing I really want to know...is "Are you scared?" I'm genuinely curious, but also, I think that if it were me, I'd want someone to ask me that. We spend so much time being brave and hiding our vulnerability. It isn't easy to keep fear hidden. And if he's not afraid I'd love to know too, because I'd love to know how to find that peace. And honestly, selfishly, I think dealing with what seems inevitable would be easier for those of us left behind knowing he was at peace with everything.

Lissy & Papa in November of 2014.

So as we go into 2016, I want to live life. I want to really be conscious of how I treat other people and how I go about interacting with them. I want to take life slower, stop stressing about what I can't change, and be more present in the moment. I want to ask people for their stories, collecting their memories to pass on to my own children and learning from the way they've lived. I don't care what I weigh, how many books I read, or how much we have saved at the end of the year. I want to smile. I want to help other people smile. I want to make an honest effort to ask people how they're doing and really listen to their responses. 

2016...Let's do this!

Problems of a Crafting Addict

I'm a crafting addict. There. I said it. You would not believe the amount of totes, boxes, and bags that I have filled with fabric, scrapbooking supplies, painting supplies, and general crafting materials. I get all of these "great ideas" about what i could make and how cool this-or-that would be...and then I never actually finish over half of the projects. Some of them are started, some are even over half way complete, while the majority of them are a pile of supplies waiting to be done something with.

I look glance at them all, looking for pieces to projects or longing to make something, and yet, I end up with a "projects to do" list a mile long and continue to add more to it.

So, this leads me to the point of my post. A challenge--to myself. More specifically, a "25 Project Challenge". The goal: to buy no more sewing, painting, or other crafting supplies until I have completed at least 25 projects with things I already have!

I originally saw this idea on a Facebook page I follow. I really liked that it essentially kept my spending in check and helped motivate me to use the things that I already had. The problem: I'm afraid I'll need something (like some new fabric for some summer dresses for Lissy) before I get to 25 projects, because, let's face it, I have little to no time to craft and sew anymore. Not that I'm not home all day long three days a week, but two of those days are spent with  Hubby & Lissy, and the other two are just me and Lissy. I love that my little girl's a snuggle bug, but sometimes I wish she'd let me put her down for naptime. As soon as I walk away she's to be held. I do have a baby carrier that she does okay in. We maaay have to start using that more around the house.

Anyway, there it is--my crafting adventure for the foreseeable future! Wish me luck! ♥

Crockpot Lasagna & Other Happenings of 2015

Well, here we are in the second week of the new year. How are your resolutions (or goals, whichever you chose to make) going?

So far I think I'm doing okay. I didn't try any new recipes the first week, but I did try out some new pasta that's made from veggies! (It was delicious!) So far this week Im on a roll. Last night I made crockpot lasagna.

Today I've made veggie and beef soup (not hard, but still something I'd never made) and I'm making peach crisp for desert. While I've made peach crisp before' I've always used yellow cake mix and basically there are 3-4 ingredients simply "dumped" together and I'm done. The problem I ran into today was the lack of cake mixes in our cupboards. So it was Pinterest to the rescue...sort of. You see, when I searched for yellow cake mixes it told me how to make a yellow cake...close, right? I figured "just mix the dry ingredients and your good." Well I did finally find one lady who made just the mix to keep in her pantry. I was mostly right, except that she added dried milk. Well, I have no dried milk, so we're going to experiment and see how it turns out without the dried milk. (I did mix in a little vanilla for flavor.)

As far as my other goals for the year, organization and money are slow moving goals, but I'm working on them. And I'm currently reading (and almost halfway through) Redwall. (How many of you remember watching the show on PBS?!?) It's not a book I probably would have read normally, but Hubby and I decided at the beginning of December to choose a book to read together and this a friend had recommended Redwall to him. With two cheap copies available at Halfprice Books we went with it, and I'm actually enjoying it. Plus, it's fun to read the same book as Hubby to be able to talk about them. The trick is not spoiling anything when one has read farther than the other. I have a little more time to read so for a while I was ahead, but Hubby is a super fast reader and has passed me now. Granted, he's tried to tease me with spoilers, which might have worked better if I hadn't watched the show because I already knew he was lying. Ha! (Nice try though, Hubby!)

So overall, 2015 is off to a great start! We're all mostly back to feeling better and baby girl is growing super fast. (How is she four months old already?!)

2015: Here We Come!

2014 is on it's way out (& will probably be officially gone by the time you read this)!
It's been a great year filled with love and laughter. I finished my second year of teaching and then became a stay-at-home mom. Dylan and I celebrated our one year anniversary and welcomed our sweet baby girl into the world. While there have certainly been some rough patches in the year, it was absolutely one of the most amazing years of my life and I wouldn't trade it for the world! Unfortunately we're ending this year and starting the new year with all three of us being sick. (Stupid germs!) But I'm confident that it's not a sign of how the rest of the year will go and that this year will bring its own new adventures and little miracles.

I've been thinking for the last couple of weeks about new year's resolutions and my goals in this next new year. For the first time in quite a few years, weight loss was not even on my mind when it came to my list, and I'm honestly a little proud of that. While some things on my list were "whole family" goals, some were more for me. At first I didn't want to include goals that didn't involve helping the rest of my family, but honestly, I've come to realize since having a baby that if I don't take a little time for myself every once in a while I can't be at my best to help take care of everyone else. So, I give you

Emily's 2015 New Year's Resolutions

• Make one new recipe a week.

• Blog twice a month.

• Read at least one book a month.

• Organize and declutter. (I know this goal is less measurable, but it needed to be included.)

• Become more "money smart." (Again, less measurable, but eventually it will become more measurable once I can break it down. Ultimately this goal comes down to budgeting better so that we aren't living paycheck-to-paycheck and can get a little more in savings.)

Well, that's it. Some of them may seem a little silly, but I feel like they take my family and our health into account as well as giving myself some more personal goals.  Once upon a time I would have laughed at saying I was going to read "at least one book a month," but anymore I'm lucky if I get one finished in two or three months. That one will definitely give me some built in "me time" aside from trips to the grocery store.

Well, 20 minutes until midnight. I think I'll go check on my sick sleeping Hubby and get in some more cuddles before having a New Year's toast with my parents and siblings.
I'd love to hear your New Year's resolutions. Feel free to share below!

Happy New Year's!!!

Christmas Day 3: a Christmas Wish List

So, did you think of anything for your wish list? Something you need? Did you think of anything someone else might need from you?

I think the thing at the top of my list this year is time spent with my family. And while I always enjoy that time, I'm especially thankful for it this year. I'll get to see my brother and his wife. We haven't seen them since June and most likely won't see them again for a while. And I've loved spending time with my grandparents on both sides of my family. Not only do I get to talk to them and hear stories, but I get to see them interact with Lissy and see the joy that she brings to them. This is especially true of my time spent with my Papa while Granny was visiting her family. With some health scares these last couple of years we are so lucky to still have him with us. Now, as he finishes up chemo, I feel like getting to see the great grandbabies is one of the things that has kept him fighting and made it worth it.


I think something I can give others is patience. All too often we get so caught up in our own lives and the things we're trying to get done that we sometimes forget to be patient with others. I find this to be true in my own life as well. To be perfectly honest, the people that I have the hardest time being patient with are my family. Sometimes I forget that they can't read my minds and that they have things of their own to get done and I get frustrated. Later I'll think back on it and say to myself, "I shouldn't have gotten upset there. That wasn't fair." And so, one of the things that I'm going to try to be more aware of this Christmas season is that I am patient with people.

I also thought about the physical things people might need from me. I'm not talking about putting presents under the tree, I'm talking about the things that I have that someone else could use. For me this shows up the most in my closet. My closet is full, but I often find myself looking at my closet and thinking, "I have nothing to wear." Why is that? To be honest, there are probably a few reasons, but there are a couple that stand out the most. First of all, I have plenty of clothes that don't fit any more, so why not donate them? Second, I have clothes that I don't wear. These clothes may fit size wise, but maybe they don't look good on me, or I have too many of a similar outfit that I like better. So, why not donate these as well? I'm sure there are other things I could clean out and donate as well, but the closet sounds like a great place to start for me. So I challenge myself (and you as well) to clean out some aspect of your life and to donate to someone in need! For me it'll be the closet. (Though you shouldn't expect to see the fruits of this challenge by my next post, because it won't happen that quickly.) You can choose anything! Maybe your pantry needs gone through. Maybe you want to get the kids involved and clean out the toy room! Not only will you make someone else happy and help them out, but you'll be happier because you're helping someone, and you'll feel better with less clutter!

Happy Advent!

Christmas Day 2: a Birthday Party for Jesus

At the end of my first post I left an open question: How would Jesus want us to celebrate his birthday?

Imagine a birthday party for a six year old boy. A Ninja Turtle cake depicting Mikee, Leo, Donnie & Ralphie jumping into action. A sign hangs in the doorway proclaiming "Happy Birthday!" Maybe there are gift bags on the table waiting for his friends. A stack of presents sit in front of the couch, the colorful paper and bows begging to be pulled open. All of this is exciting, and I'm sure the little boy will be thrilled, but what's missing?... The people! What fun is the party if there are no friends and family there to celebrate with? That would be a pretty sad party if no one where there to share it with.

So, how do you imagine Jesus might like us to celebrate his birthday? The thing that comes to mind for me is the Gospel reading Matthew 25:31-46, particularly the following lines:

"Come, you who are blessed by my Father. Inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, a stranger and you welcomed me [...] Amen, I say to you, whatever you did for one of the least brothers of mine, you did for me!"

Wow! SO in summary, Christ is in each of us. We are all Jesus. and in turn, so is each person we meet. Think about that. Essentially, each person we meet is about to celebrate their "birthday." But rather than asking yourself what gift you can buy them or what toy or knick knack they might want, maybe we could each look a little deeper and ask what do they really need? And when it comes to our own Christmas wish list, what do we really need?

Christmas Day 1: the Beginning of Advent

Today marks the first day of Advent. The countdown to Christmas, the birth of our King, officially begins! This holiday season is my favorite, but it has nothing to do with receiving gifts, or the tree and decorations, or even the catchy songs and lovey dovey movies that started long before Thanksgiving had even arrived. No, it has to do with the people. Family--Friends--Acquaintances--Strangers. The holiday season brings out the cheeriness, the thankfulness, the love.

Of course, with the way we've commercialized Christmas, as well as all of the violence and hatred going on in our country and around the world, it can be hard at times to remember what Christmas was meant to be about. Christmas is a celebration of joy and love, of people and giving, of Jesus and God and the miracles of life.

So this Christmas season I'm gong to try my hardest to keep Christ and the joy and people front and center, and I challenge you to do the same. I thought maybe a good way to keep this focus was a daily reflection. And what better place to reflect than right here?

The best place to start, I suppose, would be the Bible and the original story of Christmas. Matthew and Luke both give an account of the story. This particular version comes from Luke 2:4-20. (The wording varies a little based on which Bible you use, but the following is from our family Bible.)

And Joseph too went up from Galilee from the town of Nazereth to Judea, to the city of David that is called Bethlehem, because he was of the house and family of David, to be enrolled with Mary, his betrothed, who was with child. While they were there, the time came for her to have her child, and she gave birth to her firstborn son. She wrapped him in swaddling clothes and laid him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn.

Now there were shepherds in that region living in the fields and keeping the night watch over their flock. The angel of the Lord appeared to them and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were struck with great fear. The angel said to them, "Do not be afraid; for behold, I proclaim to you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. For today in the city of David a savior has been born for you who is Messiah and Lord. And this will be a sign for you: you will find an infant wrapped in swaddling clothes and lying in a manger." And suddenly there was a multitude of the heavenly host with the angel, praising God and saying: "Glory to God in the highest and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests."

When the angels went away from them to heaven, the shepherds said to one another, "Let us go, then, to Bethlehem to see this thing that has taken place, which the Lord has made known to us." So they went in haste and found Mary and Joseph, and the infant lying in the manger. When they saw this, they made known the message that had be told them about this child. All who heard it were amazed by what had been told them by the shepherds. And Mary kept all these things, reflecting on them in her heart. Then the shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all they had heard and seen, just as it had been told to them. 

 Jesus. Jesus is the "reason for the season" as people like to say. This sweet little baby, who would one day grow to be the man who gave his own life to save us from our sins.

When we celebrate a child's birthday we generally throw a party. We let them choose how we celebrate: a specially decorated cake, gifts they ask for, maybe a special activity like swimming or skating. Christmas celebrates Jesus's birth, so how would he want us to celebrate?

I think I'll leave this post here. A question for us all to ponder. A great question to consider as Advent begins and we move into the Christmas season. How would Jesus want us to celebrate?

Sew It Sunday: Belle Dress

This year for Lissy's first Halloween I decided that she was going to be Belle. This stemmed from a combination of my love of the movie Beauty & the Beast and a picture that I saw on Pinterest. For more pictures and a recap of Halloween you can see my post here.

My inspiration for making this dress was a little dress that we got for her right after she was born where the top of the dress was a little onsie that they had sewn a sack to the bottom of to make a little dress.




Supplies

Here are my supplies:0-3 month onsie-I got this on clearance at JCPenney & loved that it had the little ruffles at the top.
Yellow Satin-My mom got this for me with a coupon at JoAnn's. I didn't end up using anywhere near the whole yard, but I kind of played my measurements by ear so I couldn't tell you for sure how much I ended up using.
Flower & Headbands-The flower was on clearance for $.50 at WalMart. The headbands are the child's size from the craft sections at WalMart. I only ended up using one of the headbands. They came in a three pack and I included them both in the photo because my original plan was to use tulle (which I bought in two different tones of yellow/gold) to make a tutu to go over the dress. I ended up deciding that I liked the simpler look without it.



Pinned ruffles: top view

To cut my satin I tripled the width across my onsie at the point where I wanted it to sit. I ended up deciding to put it at about her belly button so that I had the option to put leggings under it if it was chilly. (It did end up being chilly, but we didn't end up going out, so we never had to use leggings.) By tripling the width I allowed for the skirt to fit all of the way around plus have some ruffle to it.

This was my practice pinning before I was actually ready to cut or sew. This was how I know that tripling would be enough. (Originally I was going to do four times the width but that was just too much ruffle.) You can see from the next picture (below) how exactly I folded it to get my ruffles. I tried to mock the soft ruffles of Belle's dress from the movie, which is why I folded it rather than gathering it.

In order to make sure that the skirt fit onto the onsie correctly I first sewed the edges of the satin together to make a tube. I then slid it over the onsie. To make this work I put the onsie right side out and the satin wrong side out. Then I slid the tube over the top of the onsie so that the snaps at the crotch were sewing. 

 

Before pinning the ruffles to the onsie I placed three other pins: one to hold the seam in the satin to the center of the onsie and one in each side seam of the onsie to make sure that I had the skirt centered around the onsie.

Once the ruffles were all pinned I sewed around the onsie using a 1/2" seam. I rolled the bottom hem and sewed that as well. And that was it! Easy peasy!!!

Pinning the sides and center

Pinned ruffles: end view



My beautiful princess in her dress!

The book pictures were inspired by some pictures I saw on Pinterest.



Happy sewing!!!

Halloween Recap 2014

I've finally made it back to the blog! I've had so many things I've wanted to blog about and projects I've wanted to share, but I have yet to make it back here to post any of them. We'll see if I can remedy that, but seriously, if you had this little one to snuggle, you'd have trouble getting anything else done too!

Our first official holiday has come and gone! We didn't get out to actually see anyone for Halloween, but I still couldn't pass up making sure she had an outfit and taking a few fun pictures!

Mommy's Beauty

Her dress was super easy to make! (Tutorial to follow shortly. I'll link it when I get it done.)

She kept lifting the rose up. We weren't sure if she was trying to smell it or eat it. Silly girl!

 

Happy Halloween!

I almost caught this smile!

I also couldn't pass up the opportunity to take a few pictures of her in my first Halloween costume. This little ghost outfit was made by my mom back in 1990!

She likes to chew...on her hand...on her clothes...on my clothes...whatever she can get a hold of!

 

 My happy baby telling her stories!

Back to work! I should probably get some laundry done before naptime is over!

New Arrival!

Baby has finally arrived!!! (Actually, she arrived almost a month ago...I'm just really behind at updating this blog. Ha!)

Our sweet baby girl the day after she was born.

Annalise (aka Lissy) was born Sept. 10

For all of the books I ready and "preparing" that I did, it was nothing like I thought it would be, and yet, I wasn't really disappointed. I thought I would have her with no epidural or drugs of any kinds. I was very set on this and had read all kinds of books about coping with the contractions etc. without it. However, my body had other ideas and I found that I have absolutely no pain tolerance! Honestly, for as long as I was in labor, I'm glad I ended up deciding to get an epidural, and I have no regrets in doing so. I think it ended up being the best decision for all of us because not having that time to relax while my labor progressed would have cause problems for all of us!

I found this Batman onsie (in a set of three) along with two little pink Superman sleepers at Kmart before she was born. (I got Batman bibs to match too, but I haven't figured out when/why put a bib on a baby this size...I feel like it would just get in her way?) While it certainly wasn't expensive (I think I paid $5 for each of the two sets) it is one of my favorite outfits, I think because you rarely see superhero stuff for little girls.

We spend a lot of time cuddling during the day. (Though as I type this she is sleeping contently in her swing.) I love that I am able to stay home with her right now. As to whether or not I'll go back to work: that's still up in the air. I would love to be able to stay home with her and not go back to work, and hubby is all for it, but figuring out how this budget works is still a work in progress. We'll see how it goes, but in the meantime I'll take all of the snuggles I can get!

We've decided that she has her daddy's nose and mouth, and my eyes and face shape. Her eyes were a grey blue when she was born, but they seem to get brighter every day! As for her hair, it's still a toss-up as to what color it will be. Sometimes it looks blonde, sometimes it looks more strawberry-colored, but it is for sure getting some curl to it!




Daddy reads her bedtime stories at night. I think she was about 5 days old here (so, our second or their day home). This is her favorite way to sleep, with her head on your chest and her legs and arms all tucked in. Such a sweet little thing!

The first night we were home Daddy took her down to get ready for bed and as I came down the stairs I heard him talking. I walked in the room to find him sitting in the rocking chair reading her Beauty and the Beast. So sweet!

I had planned to cloth diaper her since well before she was born, but we had trouble finding something that fit well, and then when we finally found one that fit she was such a heavy wetter that it didn't last more than 5 minutes. But I'm still set on it and we're still working on it!

And here is some more cuteness, just because I can!

 

 

 

We'll see how getting back into blogging goes! Hopefully we'll see you back here again soon!