Fresh Start

Here we are at the beginning of a new year. 2016, here we go!

I suppose the usual protocol would be to start with new year's resolutions...but you can look back at the last few posts on this blog and see just how well that's gone in the past. Every year I make a list, and every year it's fallen to the wayside by the end of February. (Does anyone ever make it past February?!) So this year is going to be different. This year I'm starting with a little bit of a different perspective, and while I wish what's happening wasn't, I'm going to take it and use it to shape the rest of the year.

Around the 4th of July in 2014 Papa (my maternal grandfather) was diagnosed with non-Hodgkin lymphoma. We had a world of confidence that he would overcome it as he underwent treatment at the University of Iowa. During a checkup in May of 2015 they discovered that it had come back and made an action plan, but the doctors said that in all honestly we would be lucky to keep him with us through August and until then we should make the most of it.

Granny & Papa at Thanksmas with 13 of their 21 grandchildren.

The week of Christmas he finished his final dose of yet another round of chemo. Couple this (I believe this was his third round total) with the radiation he'd already endured and you can see the long hard battle he's been fighting this past year. This round was supposed to take care of it. It was supposed to be gone. He had felt good and we all thought he was on the mend. More than once on this journey Papa had said that if it came back he wasn't going to treat it again, only to change his mind when he heard the dreaded news.

Dancing with Papa at our wedding.

This past week was his two week check up from the chemo he received before Christmas. With a swelling mass under his chin the news that came was expected...it is back, and more aggressive than before. This week he goes back to the hospital for a six day stay. During his time there he'll be hooked up to an i.v. to receive one last round of chemotherapy. It's the last possible thing they can give him. Outlook isn't great. They say it's not strong enough to really get rid of something this aggressive, but it should at least give some hope of feeling a little better.

When I heard all of this I cried. I mean I cried all night. I would stop crying and one look from my husband or a simple "Are you okay?" would send me into another bout of tears. I was thankful for the extra time that we'd been given, but still sad. When my mom told me the news I tried to stay positive for her. "We've had him with us for a lot longer than they said we would. We'll spend as much time with him as we can from now on." I tried to stay positive, to remember that God has a plan and that Papa has lived a full life.

I regret not asking him more, not listening better, not recording more of his stories. By the time I though to do so Papa had suffered a stroke and had trouble remembering many of the stories he had once told us. Some of those memories seemed to come back, but then he was headlong into treatment for his lymphoma and I hated to keep him awake when he needed his rest.

Besides all of those unanswered questions and lost stories, what I really want to ask him...the thing I really want to know...is "Are you scared?" I'm genuinely curious, but also, I think that if it were me, I'd want someone to ask me that. We spend so much time being brave and hiding our vulnerability. It isn't easy to keep fear hidden. And if he's not afraid I'd love to know too, because I'd love to know how to find that peace. And honestly, selfishly, I think dealing with what seems inevitable would be easier for those of us left behind knowing he was at peace with everything.

Lissy & Papa in November of 2014.

So as we go into 2016, I want to live life. I want to really be conscious of how I treat other people and how I go about interacting with them. I want to take life slower, stop stressing about what I can't change, and be more present in the moment. I want to ask people for their stories, collecting their memories to pass on to my own children and learning from the way they've lived. I don't care what I weigh, how many books I read, or how much we have saved at the end of the year. I want to smile. I want to help other people smile. I want to make an honest effort to ask people how they're doing and really listen to their responses. 

2016...Let's do this!

Problems of a Crafting Addict

I'm a crafting addict. There. I said it. You would not believe the amount of totes, boxes, and bags that I have filled with fabric, scrapbooking supplies, painting supplies, and general crafting materials. I get all of these "great ideas" about what i could make and how cool this-or-that would be...and then I never actually finish over half of the projects. Some of them are started, some are even over half way complete, while the majority of them are a pile of supplies waiting to be done something with.

I look glance at them all, looking for pieces to projects or longing to make something, and yet, I end up with a "projects to do" list a mile long and continue to add more to it.

So, this leads me to the point of my post. A challenge--to myself. More specifically, a "25 Project Challenge". The goal: to buy no more sewing, painting, or other crafting supplies until I have completed at least 25 projects with things I already have!

I originally saw this idea on a Facebook page I follow. I really liked that it essentially kept my spending in check and helped motivate me to use the things that I already had. The problem: I'm afraid I'll need something (like some new fabric for some summer dresses for Lissy) before I get to 25 projects, because, let's face it, I have little to no time to craft and sew anymore. Not that I'm not home all day long three days a week, but two of those days are spent with  Hubby & Lissy, and the other two are just me and Lissy. I love that my little girl's a snuggle bug, but sometimes I wish she'd let me put her down for naptime. As soon as I walk away she's to be held. I do have a baby carrier that she does okay in. We maaay have to start using that more around the house.

Anyway, there it is--my crafting adventure for the foreseeable future! Wish me luck! ♥

Crockpot Lasagna & Other Happenings of 2015

Well, here we are in the second week of the new year. How are your resolutions (or goals, whichever you chose to make) going?

So far I think I'm doing okay. I didn't try any new recipes the first week, but I did try out some new pasta that's made from veggies! (It was delicious!) So far this week Im on a roll. Last night I made crockpot lasagna.

Today I've made veggie and beef soup (not hard, but still something I'd never made) and I'm making peach crisp for desert. While I've made peach crisp before' I've always used yellow cake mix and basically there are 3-4 ingredients simply "dumped" together and I'm done. The problem I ran into today was the lack of cake mixes in our cupboards. So it was Pinterest to the rescue...sort of. You see, when I searched for yellow cake mixes it told me how to make a yellow cake...close, right? I figured "just mix the dry ingredients and your good." Well I did finally find one lady who made just the mix to keep in her pantry. I was mostly right, except that she added dried milk. Well, I have no dried milk, so we're going to experiment and see how it turns out without the dried milk. (I did mix in a little vanilla for flavor.)

As far as my other goals for the year, organization and money are slow moving goals, but I'm working on them. And I'm currently reading (and almost halfway through) Redwall. (How many of you remember watching the show on PBS?!?) It's not a book I probably would have read normally, but Hubby and I decided at the beginning of December to choose a book to read together and this a friend had recommended Redwall to him. With two cheap copies available at Halfprice Books we went with it, and I'm actually enjoying it. Plus, it's fun to read the same book as Hubby to be able to talk about them. The trick is not spoiling anything when one has read farther than the other. I have a little more time to read so for a while I was ahead, but Hubby is a super fast reader and has passed me now. Granted, he's tried to tease me with spoilers, which might have worked better if I hadn't watched the show because I already knew he was lying. Ha! (Nice try though, Hubby!)

So overall, 2015 is off to a great start! We're all mostly back to feeling better and baby girl is growing super fast. (How is she four months old already?!)

2015: Here We Come!

2014 is on it's way out (& will probably be officially gone by the time you read this)!
It's been a great year filled with love and laughter. I finished my second year of teaching and then became a stay-at-home mom. Dylan and I celebrated our one year anniversary and welcomed our sweet baby girl into the world. While there have certainly been some rough patches in the year, it was absolutely one of the most amazing years of my life and I wouldn't trade it for the world! Unfortunately we're ending this year and starting the new year with all three of us being sick. (Stupid germs!) But I'm confident that it's not a sign of how the rest of the year will go and that this year will bring its own new adventures and little miracles.

I've been thinking for the last couple of weeks about new year's resolutions and my goals in this next new year. For the first time in quite a few years, weight loss was not even on my mind when it came to my list, and I'm honestly a little proud of that. While some things on my list were "whole family" goals, some were more for me. At first I didn't want to include goals that didn't involve helping the rest of my family, but honestly, I've come to realize since having a baby that if I don't take a little time for myself every once in a while I can't be at my best to help take care of everyone else. So, I give you

Emily's 2015 New Year's Resolutions

• Make one new recipe a week.

• Blog twice a month.

• Read at least one book a month.

• Organize and declutter. (I know this goal is less measurable, but it needed to be included.)

• Become more "money smart." (Again, less measurable, but eventually it will become more measurable once I can break it down. Ultimately this goal comes down to budgeting better so that we aren't living paycheck-to-paycheck and can get a little more in savings.)

Well, that's it. Some of them may seem a little silly, but I feel like they take my family and our health into account as well as giving myself some more personal goals.  Once upon a time I would have laughed at saying I was going to read "at least one book a month," but anymore I'm lucky if I get one finished in two or three months. That one will definitely give me some built in "me time" aside from trips to the grocery store.

Well, 20 minutes until midnight. I think I'll go check on my sick sleeping Hubby and get in some more cuddles before having a New Year's toast with my parents and siblings.
I'd love to hear your New Year's resolutions. Feel free to share below!

Happy New Year's!!!

Christmas Day 3: a Christmas Wish List

So, did you think of anything for your wish list? Something you need? Did you think of anything someone else might need from you?

I think the thing at the top of my list this year is time spent with my family. And while I always enjoy that time, I'm especially thankful for it this year. I'll get to see my brother and his wife. We haven't seen them since June and most likely won't see them again for a while. And I've loved spending time with my grandparents on both sides of my family. Not only do I get to talk to them and hear stories, but I get to see them interact with Lissy and see the joy that she brings to them. This is especially true of my time spent with my Papa while Granny was visiting her family. With some health scares these last couple of years we are so lucky to still have him with us. Now, as he finishes up chemo, I feel like getting to see the great grandbabies is one of the things that has kept him fighting and made it worth it.


I think something I can give others is patience. All too often we get so caught up in our own lives and the things we're trying to get done that we sometimes forget to be patient with others. I find this to be true in my own life as well. To be perfectly honest, the people that I have the hardest time being patient with are my family. Sometimes I forget that they can't read my minds and that they have things of their own to get done and I get frustrated. Later I'll think back on it and say to myself, "I shouldn't have gotten upset there. That wasn't fair." And so, one of the things that I'm going to try to be more aware of this Christmas season is that I am patient with people.

I also thought about the physical things people might need from me. I'm not talking about putting presents under the tree, I'm talking about the things that I have that someone else could use. For me this shows up the most in my closet. My closet is full, but I often find myself looking at my closet and thinking, "I have nothing to wear." Why is that? To be honest, there are probably a few reasons, but there are a couple that stand out the most. First of all, I have plenty of clothes that don't fit any more, so why not donate them? Second, I have clothes that I don't wear. These clothes may fit size wise, but maybe they don't look good on me, or I have too many of a similar outfit that I like better. So, why not donate these as well? I'm sure there are other things I could clean out and donate as well, but the closet sounds like a great place to start for me. So I challenge myself (and you as well) to clean out some aspect of your life and to donate to someone in need! For me it'll be the closet. (Though you shouldn't expect to see the fruits of this challenge by my next post, because it won't happen that quickly.) You can choose anything! Maybe your pantry needs gone through. Maybe you want to get the kids involved and clean out the toy room! Not only will you make someone else happy and help them out, but you'll be happier because you're helping someone, and you'll feel better with less clutter!

Happy Advent!

Christmas Day 2: a Birthday Party for Jesus

At the end of my first post I left an open question: How would Jesus want us to celebrate his birthday?

Imagine a birthday party for a six year old boy. A Ninja Turtle cake depicting Mikee, Leo, Donnie & Ralphie jumping into action. A sign hangs in the doorway proclaiming "Happy Birthday!" Maybe there are gift bags on the table waiting for his friends. A stack of presents sit in front of the couch, the colorful paper and bows begging to be pulled open. All of this is exciting, and I'm sure the little boy will be thrilled, but what's missing?... The people! What fun is the party if there are no friends and family there to celebrate with? That would be a pretty sad party if no one where there to share it with.

So, how do you imagine Jesus might like us to celebrate his birthday? The thing that comes to mind for me is the Gospel reading Matthew 25:31-46, particularly the following lines:

"Come, you who are blessed by my Father. Inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, a stranger and you welcomed me [...] Amen, I say to you, whatever you did for one of the least brothers of mine, you did for me!"

Wow! SO in summary, Christ is in each of us. We are all Jesus. and in turn, so is each person we meet. Think about that. Essentially, each person we meet is about to celebrate their "birthday." But rather than asking yourself what gift you can buy them or what toy or knick knack they might want, maybe we could each look a little deeper and ask what do they really need? And when it comes to our own Christmas wish list, what do we really need?

Christmas Day 1: the Beginning of Advent

Today marks the first day of Advent. The countdown to Christmas, the birth of our King, officially begins! This holiday season is my favorite, but it has nothing to do with receiving gifts, or the tree and decorations, or even the catchy songs and lovey dovey movies that started long before Thanksgiving had even arrived. No, it has to do with the people. Family--Friends--Acquaintances--Strangers. The holiday season brings out the cheeriness, the thankfulness, the love.

Of course, with the way we've commercialized Christmas, as well as all of the violence and hatred going on in our country and around the world, it can be hard at times to remember what Christmas was meant to be about. Christmas is a celebration of joy and love, of people and giving, of Jesus and God and the miracles of life.

So this Christmas season I'm gong to try my hardest to keep Christ and the joy and people front and center, and I challenge you to do the same. I thought maybe a good way to keep this focus was a daily reflection. And what better place to reflect than right here?

The best place to start, I suppose, would be the Bible and the original story of Christmas. Matthew and Luke both give an account of the story. This particular version comes from Luke 2:4-20. (The wording varies a little based on which Bible you use, but the following is from our family Bible.)

And Joseph too went up from Galilee from the town of Nazereth to Judea, to the city of David that is called Bethlehem, because he was of the house and family of David, to be enrolled with Mary, his betrothed, who was with child. While they were there, the time came for her to have her child, and she gave birth to her firstborn son. She wrapped him in swaddling clothes and laid him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn.

Now there were shepherds in that region living in the fields and keeping the night watch over their flock. The angel of the Lord appeared to them and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were struck with great fear. The angel said to them, "Do not be afraid; for behold, I proclaim to you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. For today in the city of David a savior has been born for you who is Messiah and Lord. And this will be a sign for you: you will find an infant wrapped in swaddling clothes and lying in a manger." And suddenly there was a multitude of the heavenly host with the angel, praising God and saying: "Glory to God in the highest and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests."

When the angels went away from them to heaven, the shepherds said to one another, "Let us go, then, to Bethlehem to see this thing that has taken place, which the Lord has made known to us." So they went in haste and found Mary and Joseph, and the infant lying in the manger. When they saw this, they made known the message that had be told them about this child. All who heard it were amazed by what had been told them by the shepherds. And Mary kept all these things, reflecting on them in her heart. Then the shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all they had heard and seen, just as it had been told to them. 

 Jesus. Jesus is the "reason for the season" as people like to say. This sweet little baby, who would one day grow to be the man who gave his own life to save us from our sins.

When we celebrate a child's birthday we generally throw a party. We let them choose how we celebrate: a specially decorated cake, gifts they ask for, maybe a special activity like swimming or skating. Christmas celebrates Jesus's birth, so how would he want us to celebrate?

I think I'll leave this post here. A question for us all to ponder. A great question to consider as Advent begins and we move into the Christmas season. How would Jesus want us to celebrate?