I am a horrible "homemaker." There. I said it. Not that we've gotten that out of the way maybe it'll be easier to come to terms with. Here's the thing: I've wanted to be a stay-at-home wife and mother since before I had my babies. Of course, there were several other career paths I tried to follow. I was a teacher for two years, and while I never got very far, I still have those pipe dreams of becoming a writer. But when it's all said and done, what better job is there on Earth that to raise my babies and take care of my family.
When I imagined what life would be like as a stay-at-home mom I thought I had it all planned out. (Don't we all?!) I devoted not one but
two Pinterest boards to the topic of being organized. (One for ideas, the other for printables.) I was going to keep a clean house, have the laundry and dishes done, grow as much food as possible in whatever sized garden I could manage, always have fun, educational activities to do with my babies, do all kinds of crafts and sewing during naptime, and continue to walk or go to the gym on a regular basis. Doesn't that all sound amazing?
Now let me tell you what really happens...
The laundry and dishes
sometimes are completely washed and put away once a week, but never both in the same week and sometimes neither happens. My house is rarely clean, aside from the playroom, which I try to pick up and vacuum every other day because I don't like to wonder how long the Cheerio the baby found and is eating has been on the floor. (At least this way I know it's no more than a day old.) We do have a garden, though it's not very big nor does it have much in it, and my gardening approach is something like: water every one to two days if it doesn't rain and only weed what seems to be killing my vegetables. While I don't always "plan" educational/fun things for the girls to do, they do have access to all of their toys, which includes puzzles, blocks, and other learning manipulatives. That being said, Lissy is addict to watching
Sofia the First and we watch more t.v. than we probably should. To be fair, she does play while it's on, so at least she's not
just sitting and watching? But honestly, sometimes it's the only way to keep her occupied long enough for me to wash a sink of dishes (what I wouldn't give for a dishwasher) or take a shower (when I'm lucky). As for the crafts and sewing, I've probably started a million projects, but rarely do they get finished. Usually I've just set one out and started the prep work when one or the other baby starts to stir. Some things take longer than others to finish. (I
still need to put the binding on the quilt I started for Grandma last June. It was officially a year ago this past week that I started it.) So far the only projects I've been able to finish in a day are Rosaries. (Maybe Mary has a hand in that? Perhaps the prayers of "please keep the babies sleeping" as I work on them are really being heard!) The last things on my list of things was walking and going to the gym. While I don't think I've even set foot in a gym since having babies, the girls and I do go for a walk almost every day when the weather is nice. (This past winter was a different story, but maybe when they're older we'll be able to get out more then too.)
I guess here's what I'm getting at: life isn't always roses. There are days (and weeks) when things just don't get done. And while I tend to beat myself up over them, I'm starting to realized that it's not worth it. Because happy, healthy babies who love their mama and are learning and growing before me are the most important things. And while I'll continue to push myself to get things done in a timely manner, I'm sure the dishes will still get done on more of an "as needed basis" and I'll still run out of clean socks and underwear and have to do an "emergency load of laundry." But that's okay. Yes, I could sit my babies down more often. I could let them cry while I got chores done and I could make them nurse on a schedule as opposed to on-demand so I don't feel like I'm constantly sitting down to feed them. But why would I do that when the snuggles make us both feel better and the smile on their faces as we build tower after tower just to knock them down is way more precious than a spotless house.
Someday I'll have a clean house and I'll have all of those things done that I imagined, but when that time comes it won't be because my babies have finally realized that Mama has a to-do list a mile long. It'll be because I no longer have "babies." It'll be because they're grown and those snuggles and little moments aren't a part of our daily lives anymore. And while walk around dusting or putting away the last of the clothes I won't be thinking, "So this is what I've been missing." I'll be thinking, "I miss the days I spent with my babies."
